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If you meter with both main and fill lights on and your meter reads higher than it did when you had just your main lights on, your fills are set higher than your main.
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Not so. Here's a simple example to illustrate. Let's say your main is on camera left and your fill is on camera right. Same power lights. Same distance from the subject. Same umbrella, etc. With just the main light on you register f/8. If you turn the other light on at the same power, you'll read f/11. Twice the light.
Even if your fill light is less intense than your main, the subject will be illuminated with more light than just the main light...thus requiring a smaller aperture.
You have to meter (with a white diffuser pointed at the camera) after all your lights are set, then re-set your aperture to match. That is, unless you're intentionally over/under exposing.
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You are right, and I maybe. It all depends on your tools and the way you use them. I have a Novatron set, and if I put two heads in one power pack one light camera right one camera left it does not make a difference, if I run each light to a seperate pack then yes it is double.
In the quote in my post he or she said they would put their light 1 or 2 stops lower than the main. I've seen people measure lights several different ways, he could just be moving a slider on some monolights a calling it stops. If I set my lights by pointing my meter at camera, then set get my fill 2 stops less metering by pointing at the light source, when I do the final meter reading it doesn't change, if I got my fill 1 stop less it may give me 3 tenths more at the most. Now if I metered this fill light with the meter pointing towards camera then it would be 3 stops, 2 stops, (red stop blue stop) I don't know which way is right or if one is wrong, as long as the photographer is happy with the results. This is all just general crap say main light camera left fill approx 30 to 45 degree from subject area.
All that said I still have lots to learn and forget.