I have an old Canon G1 that's in the shop at the moment, but once I turn the dial to "M" (manual) I have two pairs of buttons that control shutter speed and f-stop. It also has a hot shoe that I use with an external flash, or a Wein infared transmitter (I used to use it to shoot an online clothing catalog, until I got my Nikon D70) in the studio. (You could also use a Pocket Wizard or adapter for a PC cord). All the Canons in this line (G series, and the new Powershot Pro 1) work this way as I understand it (and I am now looking at trading in my G1 for a G5 on a Canon trade-up deal). They are also very intuitive, but you do have to practice with them.
The two problems with these advanced point & shoots is their limited f-stop range (mine doesn't go below f8) and that they are only 24-bit color chips, instead of the 36-bit of the DSLRs. For the web, the advanced P&S cameras are just fine. Of course you don't have to buy a seperate lens with the P&S cameras, but I think as a long-time film shooter you will feel more comfortable with a DSLR. I would suggest either the D70 if you want Nikon, or the Rebel or 10D or 20D if you want Canon. As mentioned elsewhere, you should check out http://www.dpreview.com/
for more specifics.
Andy Pearlman Studio