but I'm taking the next few days off, so what the heck.
I think the image has several problems.
First, I think her head position is a bit awkward, or at least it looks that way. Compounding that is the slight shift in skintones from her shoulders and neck to her face. I get an impression it's somebody else's head pasted on a body.
Then there is the visual confusion of her arms. It is unfortunate that she didn't have her arms slightly farther apart so there would be some clear definition of their separation. As it is, they both seem to join in the sleeve of the blouse.
So what would have made the image work better? Well, I'd have changed the pose slightly to lift her head up and perhaps put her right hand under her chin or along the side of her face. Lifting her face would also have gotten more light into that shadow area. If the visual confusion of her arms was still evident, I'd have had her move her left arm a bit more toward the camera. Hey, it's easy to say that now after looking at the image for maybe 3 or 4 minutes. Probably wasn't so evident when you took the picture.
Shooting in direct sun is tough. I suspect this was probably midday, the shadows are sharp and dark. A translucent scrim over her would have softened the light. A white reflector positioned at the camera could have thrown some additional light into the shadow area. You could probably have accomplished both those tasks with just a newspaper and a passerby to hold a single sheet of it between her and the sun.
Next time take a newspaper...