Fine first multi-light effort. Some things to watch...
Your left kicker/rimlight is too strong, you're blowing too much detail. Remember when you are metering that the meter is reading 18 percent gray (theroetically). To read as a kicker, you only need 1 stop extra, not necessarily 2.
Light spill onto the tip of the nose bothers me a tad.
Her top looks out of place with the bottoms. A rubber band + lingerie? Nah.....
Watch the hair. Dark hair on a dark background soaks up a TON of light. Always tricky, especially in the beginning. Try raising the right kicker to give a bit of light on top.
Here's one I played with a bit. Sarah Elizabeth, Playboy's Miss November 2006. With regard to blown detail, this was purposeful, for the "Sin City" look.
MUA: Gayle Elizabeth
David