a fashion attempt

[David_L_Brown]

Can I get some constructive feedback on this shot? I have no practical experience in a studio but got to borrow one the other day. Coaxed my X-girlfriend into it with a new dress. Does it need more light on the face? Would you rather see the full-length version? Oh yeah, sorry about the cheesy fake column. When Valerie saw it she wanted to pose with it, but I like the shot anyway.

[n5wd]

David,

Hope you really wanted constructive criticism... and hope you DO find it constructive.

The first thing that grabbed me was the tilt to the image. It's distracting and doesn't appear to have any purpose -- everyone realizes that the 'cheesy fake column' (don't worry about using it.. I've got one, but never had the nerve to use it! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] ) is probably vertical, so the tilt throws everything off balance. You can often get away with tilting things that don't have a known reference, but...

Secondly, poor girl.. ya chopped off her feet. Whydja do that? If you're going to crop legs, doing it at mid-thigh looks OK, but not right above the ankles.

No, I don't know that you needed more light on Valerie's face. Maybe a slight splash more, but there's enough light that we see most of the details of her lovely features. It looks like you let the light on her shoulders create very hot and, in the case of her right shoulder, completely blown out areas. Her chest is almost there, too, but just barely not.

Those are the big things... a couple of nits... behind her left shoulder we see just a smidgen of the dress. Turning her one way or the other would have either (a) used the arm to block the little bit of dress we see, or (b) allowed us to see more... as it is, the smidgen is distracting.

And, look at how her skin bunches on her right shoulder/armpit area.

Finally, a question.. is her hair two-tone? I'm looking at the bun and wondering if she's really got just a tuft of blonde-ish hair or is that just strongly backlit hair?

Hope you get a chance to use the studio, again. I much prefer studio work to outdoors. Yeah, it takes a bit of learning curve to get everything nailed down but when ya get it going... look out!

So, post some more of this lovely lady!

Wayne

This is Natalya

[David_L_Brown]

Wayne, thank you for response. I understand about the tilt and I have straight shots also but liked the tension created from the tilt. I also have a full length version (with the tilt [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) but preferred the tighter crop. I did play with it some and brought it up as high as I thought I could without losing the symmetry of her crossed ankles. You are correct about the blown highlights across her shoulders. I had her as far forward as the room would allow but there was still too much spill from the background which was actually black seamless that I was blasting with 2 1000watt monolights at full power to get the grey tone at F8. It was what I had to work with. Either that or a cheesy painted wedding backdrop that went with the cheesy marble column [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img].

The smidgen of dress will be fixed in PS along with the bunched up skin at her right shoulder and I will darken the backlit hair that is "glowing" from the background spill.

Thank you for helping me improve this shot and I will post another in a couple of days when I get a chance to go through the rest of the stuff.

David

[RoshGlamour]

Wayne mentioned it already, but the first thing that caught my eye was the need for more light on the mask of her face. Hope this helps.

Greg

[PrimeJive]

Great shot.
Many could argue that for a fashion shot cutting the bottom of the dress which seem to be one of the most important elements of its design is a mistake. If I was shooting for a client I would have given them the option which you might have done.
j.urdaneta

[David_L_Brown]

Okay, by popular demand (well...2 people anyway) here is the full length shot. Only curves and sharpening and a little warming done in PS. PrimeJive, you swayed me with the statement that I shouldn't cut the bottom of the dress if I'm thinking fashion.

I like it!!!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[PrimeJive]

It looks much, much better, from the fashion perspective. I did like the tilt, but I realize that with the full column it might not work now. I know we all work with limited budgets on our self-assignments, but I must say that a stylist might have swayed you away from those shoes they don't seem to do the trick for me.
j.urdaneta

[David_L_Brown]

Actually, I had a friend with me who is also a photographer and a (very part time) MUA. Valerie still wanted to wear those particular shoes. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Bonner]

Much better of the two. Not sure about her choice (or yours) of finger placement. -Jim