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first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-18-2004, 11:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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i want REAL critique, let me have it, i figure its the only way i'll get better.

i obviously photoshopped this to add TONS of contrast. used Olympus E-10. I'm not a professional, and not really trying to be one yet, just take photos for fun with odd homemade lights. this is probably only the 4th shoot ive done with models (friends).

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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 10:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I like it. Good artistic quality!

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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 11:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I like the look and the pose.
Very nice contact with the lens, good shot.

Greetings,
Frank
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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 11:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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the B&W really works with this photo
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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 12:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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thanks to all for feedback so far! any suggestions for future shoots?
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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 01:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The harsh light on the front models face bothers me. Other then that I really like this shot. Nice job.

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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 07:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Tim

WOW. For a first time post -- you started out with the bar pretty high!

What I always say to first time posters or new shooters that appear to be doing good work -- watch the details.

There are a couple of things on the floor behind the models that can distract just a bit. I would have made sure that there was an overstuffed chair behind them that went with the couch -- or didn't go with the coach, but on purpose.

There also has to be a story with an image like this. It's very editorial and there should be a backstory and a body of work. You can't have just one image like this. If it's just one image it's a lucky shot and it's too isolated. Since you seem to be getting into the editorial style -- plan out entire stories and not one image at a time. Plus, you'll find it moves the shoot along when you know when you're finished with one shot and what you're doing next.

Post more!

Bob
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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 07:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I like this photograph. It has a gritty, voyeuristic, artistic look. The pose is strong. The first model looking at the camera is holding tightly to the second model with her right arm, but seems to be pushing away with her left arm. This forces the view to question what is happening, did the photographer interrupt an intimate encounter? The expression on the first model's face doesn’t seem to indicate she is shocked by the appearance of the photographer, but again she is pushing away with one arm.

What bothers me is the light on the second model’s mouth and nose. I’m also distracted by the shadow/line along the lower back of the second model. I scrolled down and cropped it out and I think the image works better. You still see enough of the legs to convey the image of the intimacy of their embrace.

Keep in mind, I'm only a beginner and I've haven't taken any classes yet so I don't know how much my opinion is worth, but you asked. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Jean-Maurice
HFP Photography

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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 10:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I hate it when we try too be nice and not try to help. Try turning this photograph upside down and look at it again. Where does your eye's go? Mine went to the couch,the girl's hip, and the other girl's face. Try redirecting the lights or something. Loved the idea. Loved the B/W. Really enjoyed alot about the effort. Keep trying.
Respectfully
Robert
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Re: first timer, dont bother being gentle
Old 08-19-2004, 11:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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yay an honest opinion. thanks a lot. im working with homemade lights, and dont even have any idea how to use them. in this particular pose, what sort of lighting might you suggest?
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