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View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 01:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I was just wondering, if a you are shooting nudes or glamour, how does your spouse feel and how do you deal with it ?
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 06:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
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This is an excellent question and one I was going to post myself. I know I'm going to run into a problem but I hope she understands that this is what I want to do. I don't mean to be selfish but she's with me or not, isn't it that simple? I'm going to do what makes me happy. Am I being selfish?
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 07:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I believe there are 2 primary issues (there may be more) that cause a spouse to not be supportive - 1)distrust of the motives 2)moral disagreement. The first requires trust that only comes from honesty - the second you can not fix.

As with everything else in life, honesty is the key. In my case, we just talked about what I wanted to do and why. I showed her examples of the work I liked which removed any doubt that it was a porn or sex related issue. I invited her to come along any time she wanted. She never wants to because she knows she'd be totally bored.
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 08:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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My wife completely supports my shooting of nudes. She even wants to assist me in shoots but feels that her presence may not work out well (for the client), but she reviews all the images with me and even gives me her opinion on the shots that she likes. She is totally supportive.
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 08:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lsc1 View Post
1)distrust of the motives 2)moral disagreement. The first requires trust that only comes from honesty - the second you can not fix.
My wife doesn't have a moral disagreement, I think she has a moreal disagreement because she currently has very self esteem. She knows the type of work I want to get into. We will see how it all works out when I start.
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oh the drama that unfolds when one wants to take pictures of another woman, not even nude can get a rise out of the strongest of relationships. Here is what I did just this past weekend, Friday night I opened a nice bottle of red wine, poured a glass and we enjoyed the conversation for a moment. Our conversation topic slowly evolved, camera close by, oh, that's a nice one, click, before you know it you are taking pictures of what you want to take, nude pictures of a woman. Make your wife feel like any model you have worked with and she will respond with the best poses you could dream of. It's magic!
Once it is understood what your desire is and is not, most will support. Good luck!
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-07-2007, 09:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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How does she feel?
Hell, she ASSISTS!!!
(Not wife, though, but close enough!!!)

It's not even a "safety measure" thing, but it does give the model an added bit of comfort.

Unless she thinks we're like "swingers", which has yet to happen.

Seriously, though, we had "that" discussion, and the rules of logic apply;
"As long as there is an escort / chaperone".

Hasn't been an issue, nor do I see it as a possibility.
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-08-2007, 01:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Be sure and let your wife or girlfriend know and always inform her when you are shooting nudes. Pete Gowland's wife Alice used to say when Pete shot a pretty girl all she saw was dollars. IF you don't know who Peter Gowland is you are missing a great glamour photographer...Always beautiful models and classie images. My wife is not over excited about it but she has no problems with it. As she says shoot all you want just don't touch...
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-08-2007, 11:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
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What would be interesting, if I could get some of the photographer's spouses to respond to this question?
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Re: View from your other half ?
Old 02-08-2007, 09:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silver tip images View Post
Pete Gowland's wife Alice used to say when Pete shot a pretty girl all she saw was dollars. IF you don't know who Peter Gowland is you are missing a great glamour photographer...
Peter Gowland - wow does that name bring back memories. One of the first how-to books of glamour photography was Pete Gowland...I may still have it on a bookshelf somewhere.

My wife has been jealous since before I married her 33 years ago. She has seen all phases of my work and I could be taking pictures of 90 year women and she would not like it. The only thing that appeases her is knowing that her mortgage payment depends on my photography. She isn't interested in photography, worries that equipment costs too much and customers don't pay on time, and fumes when she learns I've done a TFP/TFCD instead of charging the model. She gets jealous when wedding photos I do for a client turn out great because our wedding photos are crap (I didn't hire the photographer -her daddy did). And, it doesn't help that she makes a southern baptist look like a liberal.

So how do I handle it. I treat all photography like business and I don't bring work home with me. No great glamour shots hanging in my study or den. Family banking is separate from business banking, no borrowing from family budget to buy photo gear or hire models. No models call the house or enter her house...and I always make sure to keep business out of family time as much as possible.
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