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Funny with politics and this is intended no jabs
Old 11-09-2006, 11:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I took the below and changed it from cows to cameras for us all to have a little humor. Willie Sheldon


DEMOCRATIC

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Cameras.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his camera.

COMMUNIST

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Cameras.
The government seizes both and provides you models.
You wait in line for hours to get it in which it becomes for sure its a no show.
The studio rental is expensive, cold and the lighting is poor at best.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You sell one, buy Leica and build a corporation.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
Under the new art program the government pays you to shoot art, but destroy any and all evidence of ever shooting and you still get paid your contractual agreement.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Cameras.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force an employee to produce the quality and quantity of 4 crews. You are
surprised when one employee drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You go on strike because you want three cameras.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary camera
and produce twenty times the photos in the same time.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded containers.
Most are at the top of their class at camera school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality photos, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Cameras in Afghanistan, which are two.

You don't shoot them because you cannot shoot any creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to photography but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their shutter.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two cameras.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to shoot with them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
The camera is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the camera thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish camera won't share with the French camera.
The French camera wants control of the Flemish cameras shutter.
The camera asks permission to be cut in half.
The camera dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera and a brown Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Camera.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
think is the best-looking camera.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of Hasselblad H2D-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR, Digital Cameras.
They make real California glamour.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the most glamour photos.
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