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Smart fast old men
Old 06-12-2006, 08:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Moral: Some old men can still think fast...

An old man in South Georgia had owned a large farm .
He had a large pond in the back field.
It was properly shaped for swimming,
so he had fixed it up nice -picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond,
as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him,
"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man shouted Back,
"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said,
"It's time to feed the Momma Gator."
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Re: Smart fast old men
Old 06-13-2006, 08:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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That's funny. :-) Thanks.
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Re: Smart fast old men
Old 06-13-2006, 03:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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On the topic of age and wisdom... my dad sent me this one. Good stuff.

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was doing his job okay, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured it wouldn't hurt anything. So he gets a young cock and and lets it loose in the barn yard. The old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. So, they are trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.

He walks up to the new bird and says,"So, your the new guy in town. I bet you think you're really hot stuff don't you? I'm not exactly ready for the chopping block yet. I bet I'm still the better bird and to prove it, I challenge you to a race around the hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens to himself."

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easily," said the young cocky rooster.

So, the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race and all the hens gather around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guys lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there.

Unfortunately the old roosters lead continued to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he just barely led the young rooster. By then the farmer had heard all the commotion. He ran into the house, got his shot gun, and ran out to the barn yard figuring a fox or something was after his chickens. When he got there, he saw the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately took his shot gun, aimed, fired, and blew the young rooster away.

He walked away slowly, saying to himself.................. "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
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Re: Smart fast old men
Old 06-13-2006, 05:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yep I can see them clearing the pond now !!!
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