I like your background in your first image, but the cropping off of the arm where the hand is missing kills that image for me. Also her right had is brighter than her face, that bugs me too.
I was listening to pro photographer the other day, Peter Geller who has shot over 10,000 Harliquen Romance book covers and even won the World Press Photo
acclaim in 1971, and he made the comment, the light strikes the face first from up above and that's one reason the face should be at least equal or lighter than the rest of the body. Thought that was a great comment from the inventor of the California Sunbounce himself.
With that said, plus my own photo editorial background and skills, the dark face bothers me in both images, some fill is needed. In image two, her breasts are lighter than her face.
Overall, I love the concept, love that background, a great model with a great face, but personally I'd go back and shoot with that background again and again as there are great possibilities there. Just adding a touch of fill to the model's face will make a great difference. The choice of long lenses are great too and I'd stick with that choice.
Thanks for sharing and for being a part of the GG family and community..rg sends!