Model wanted bondage - wife said "absolutely not"

[telcoman]

[ QUOTE ]
My wife is my biggest fan and most honest critic. I never, and I do mean NEVER, shoot anything I wouldn't want her to know about or see. I tell her about every single one of my shoots.

Am I P-whipped? Nope. Its all about respect and trust and comfort. Models come and go. Wives tend to be more permanent (okay, more permanent than models). Look at this as an opportunity to show your wife what you have in mind. If she's still opposed to the idea, find out what *her* comfort level is.

Deceiving your wife about what you do leads to an unhappy finish.

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I hope there was nothing in my post that lead you to believe that I would deceive my wife. I think you're attitude will lead to both a good marriage and a great comfort zone in photography. My wife takes great interest in the weddings, families and portraits that I shoot. She has little to no interest in the glamour aspect. I asked her to critique some of the images I took at Rolando's workshop and she said "Don't ask me, I'm not going to like any of them." Like I said, she tolerates the glamour. She knows I shoot it once in a while (mostly at workshops) but she doesn't really care about it.

[ QUOTE ]
Women/Wives rarely have any creative flair and since they don't want us to have too much fun, NO is the first word out of their mouth..


[/ QUOTE ]



I guess I found that rare Gem???

[telcoman]

[ QUOTE ]
Subtle or not, bondage is about dominant or submissive and takes on a sexual gratification role regardless if it's safe , evil or subtle.

A nude image and it's intent does not always or is not always created for sexual gratification.

You can argue if the underwear section of the JCPenney catalog is porn. That's interpretation of a viewer. I am not talking about interpretation. I am talking about porn is porn and bondage is bondage. Subtle or not, it's intent is to arouse. Not always the case with nude photography.

J T

[/ QUOTE ]

J T,

Remember, I live in a state where interpretations causes rallies where kids say that the pictures at the perfume counter are pornographic and people write on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuite Addition advertisements that they are disguised porn.

Thanks for your responses to my question. I find that if I never mentally challenge where I'm at with an opinion then it will never change. I had to challenge myself on this issue because at face value a Bettie Page Bondage type shoot seemed pretty tame to me. Through your comments mostly, and pondering other peoples comments on this thread I've come to the following opinion that I will use to guide myself.

I never want to take a picture of a women that doesn't potray her with dignity and potray her as a lady.

To me, and this is my self opinion and that doesn't mean that I have to project it on others, this would rule out even tame bondage based on the opinion I've formed of bondage due to your posts. So I guess what I'm saying is that I agree with you.

I think it also allows a zone of comfort in persuing glamour, fashion and even the occasional artistic nude.

Regards,

David

[ QUOTE ]
A nude image and it's intent does not always or is not always created for sexual gratification.

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I see your point of view but if you've seen Scott's image of the leg and heeled foot wrapped with chain and the model is drawing it tight against the front of her ankle, it could be used for an ad campaign for the manufacturer of the chain (Chain manufacturer illustrates the cold, stell strength of it's chain against the warm softness of a woman's skin). It wouldn't be about sexual gratification but I'd bet that bondage would come to mind with a lot of viewers just as a nude women with a child in her arms would turn to sexual thoughts with some viewers. What I'm trying to say is that everyone perceives things differently and there's a different set of rules for every situation and an image can display very mild bondage but seen as something much different. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Can we agree on that?

[jtsmith]

Yes. WE can agree on that. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

J T

[j4m3z]

Look at it from her point of view. Bondage, in the scenario you're proposing, can insinuate and to a point condone violence against women. Your wife just may not want you acquiring a taste for that activity and is merely trying to keep it from entering the relationship you two share.

[stevenD]

yes you did, and I was thinking of you (and your wife) when I changed the word "never" to "rarely"...

[ QUOTE ]
Don't tell your Wife!

...

I do what I want...

************************************************** *************

Yup, me too sir. No question at my house... nope - no sir!!! And a clear cut understanding on her part!!! I'll shoot whatever, whenever...

Hold on a second, Kath is yelling something...

I gotta go ...

.................................................. ....... "coming dear" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

jim

[telcoman]

It's more likely she thinks bondage = porn. I think even by J T's definition she's not ok with it. I think after evaluating the opinions on this thread I'm not ok with shooting it too.

David

You know...before I met DeAnn,,,oh I am so gonna open a can of worms here...
but I didnt know that there were women that actually enjoyed sex and sexuality .
good lord I was 39 yrs old before I realized this????


Don.