It's cool to see someone young getting into photography and actually getting out there and shooting... congrats!!
Here's a few thoughts and a "re-edit"... hope you don't mind. I'll be happy to pull it if you wish.
The thoughts (and please, don't take these as gospel, only as words of encouragement from another developing photographer):
I'm not sure what equipment you are shooting with, but I see here (and with a previous post) what appears to be too slow a shutter speed for hand-holding. Did you hand-hold or use a tripod?
A general rule for hand-holding a camera without flash is that "1-over-focal length" is as slow as you should go before using a tripod... in other words, with a 50mm lens, you should keep shutter speeds to 1/50th of a second and faster. Any slower and images will probably not be as sharp as needed. There are some pros that are good enough to shoot well below this general rule. Not me, though!
One of the things your photos are lacking is sharpness, probably due to camera shake in low lights. So, a faster lens may be in order. I don't think they are lacking vision, however. The vision you seem to have for your photos (I've only seen two, of course so I may be way off) seems to me to be one of extremes... whether they be in color, setting, tone, texture, whatever....
I think taking advantage of those "themes" would do you well. First, though, work on camera technique and your visions will come around much more easily. As for this example, color seems to be the theme so I edited the photo to really saturate the colors on the model's shadow, as well as the vignette of shadow around the edge of the photo. The girl seems to be the palette for the light, so I made her features less identifiable.
... of course, I may be totally off base here, but here it is: